Goddamn it all. This is the kind of video that makes my head want to explode. It’s amazing how fast untrue information can spread. “Full digital nudity” is hardly how I would describe the sex scene in Mass Effect. First off, it’s on YouTube. Doesn’t that say something about how graphic it is? Why don;t games with actual graphic sex scenes ever get mentioned? Oh yeah, because they are shitty and no one buys them so it doesn’t matter.

How do you not market something to kids? There were commercials for Mass Effect on Comedy Central, in the evenings as I can remember. That’s not targeting kids. If kids are watching Comedy Central at night, that’s not Mass Effect’s problem.

How does she talk about the parental controls on the 360 and dismiss them in a single sentence? They are there so you don’t have to “hover over them every second.”

I’m not sure what statistics our friend Cooper here is looking at, but everything I can find is telling me that the average video game player is around 30. So that would be their dads, Cooper. It would be. The women in this game are far from “just a hot body.” This game has some strong female characters. Ashley Williams is one bad ass broad. I’d wager she could snap Cooper in two.

Newscaster lady then proceeds to attack age gates. I’ll admit, they are pretty pointless, but what is the alternative? Some red band movie trailers have more legitimate age gates that actually check you’re information in some data base somewhere (which is kind of creepy). Unfortunately, I’ve never been able to make one let me watch the trailer, and I’m 21. You can easily get some internet filtering software to prevent your kids from looking at things you don’t want them to see. But then they’ll just go to their friends house to see it.

Cooper seems to think that you put in the game and it tells you, “Press A to kill things, press B to fuck and press Y to jump. Press Y and B at the same time to jump and fuck at the same time.” Maybe before you flat out attack something with false claims, you should trying it for at least 10 or 15 minutes. I actually had a hard time forming a relationship in the game. I pissed Ashley off early on and she wasn’t having any of that from there on out.

With a real experience, little boys can’t tell the difference between a video game and real life, or so Cooper tells us. Does that mean they need to kill someone in real life to understand that it’s different that killing an AI controlled program? If so, that is quite possible the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Kids are not that stupid, we don’t give them nearly enough credit.

She says “You have to pick up the box and look at the back for the rating” like that’s different from a DVD. Or like games weigh a ton. Dorky man in the glasses seems to indicate that he has no capacity for thinking, so we can just ignore anything he says. And then again in this lovely round table discussion, they completely ignore the fact that you can block M games on the 360.

Why didn’t it get an AO? There’s nothing graphic! There was more nudity in Titantic, a PG-13 movie, you assholes. And guess what! The games with graphic nudity do get an AO rating. Also, I’m so sick and tired of “What happened to the days of Pong?!” The same thing that happened to the days of zubaz, pet rocks and films starring the Coreys. We moved on to better things.

You can’t download Mass Effect. Also you cannot get it on your damn phone. Thank you Geoff Keighley for trying your best to make these people listen to reason. The sad truth is that they never will. So we will just have to wait for the day that Mark McDonald has often described, when all the old people die off and this isn’t a problem anymore.