This week: Defeated 6/22

Fight for The Beatles

I had heard that Activision was courting the companies (EMI and Apple Corps) that own the rights to the Beatles’ songs.  This was going to be the next band-specific game after Metallica.  Now the Financial Times is reporting that both Activision and MTV Games are in talks to acquire the Beatles.  If these companies are smart they won’t go exclusive with one game.  I’m fine with there being two fake band games out there as long as the one set of instruments I have work with both and they don’t start buying up band exclusives.  They seem to be getting the message on my first requirement but the second one seems inevitable.

World at War found my weakness

Just when I thought I wouldn’t care at all about Treyarch’s upcoming Call of Duty game (set in WWII), they bust out the 4 player online co-op.  As demonstrated by the fact that I beat Brute Force, I love co-op no matter how good the game is.  World at War will also have the CoD4 style persistant competative multiplayer, which is the only thing that has been able to give Halo 3 a run for its money as the top game played on 360.  If Treyarch can nail down the great feeling that CoD4 had they could leave their reputation as the people who messed up Call of Duty 3 behind.

Honey, I made way too much money

A question that has been on my mind for upwards of 10 years now was answered this week.  Where the fuck is Rick Moranis?  He won’t be voicing his character in the upcoming Ghostbusters game because, “He made so much money off of Honey I Shrunk The Kids that he retired. He just doesn’t want to work anymore.”  Touche, Mr. Moranis.  Fortunately, all four Ghostbusters will be returning to voice their characters.  This won’t be your average movie license game.

Lord of indifference, or, I could care Legolas

Pandemic is clearly just reskinning the Star Wars: Battlefront games with a fantasy skin for their new Lord of the Rings: Conquest.  Epic war has never looked so bland.  I’ve been done with LotR games for a while now.  If this game ends up being half decent, I will be very surprised.  Finish Mercenaries 2, Pandemic.

What’s in your Wii?

Good ol’ Stephen Totilo (Who was writing for Kotaku this week?) brought up the statistics we’re getting from Nintendo through their Nintendo Channel.  Some sad, and some amazing, these statistics don’t represent everyone who owns a Wii, just those who opted in on the Nintendo Channel.  Either way, there are some interesting numbers in there, like people have played almost 25 million hours of Wii Sports.  Bat shit insane.  Check the rest out for yourself.

InstantAction finally gets a game worth playing

The beta for Fallen Empires has finally begun over on InstantAction.  This comes from the guys who made Tribes and is full of jetpacked FPS mayhem.  I’ve given it a few minutes, but without an option to invert the Y axis, it’s not very fun for me.  Am I in the minority on that one?  If you like your up to be up and down to be down, go have some fun.  I’ll meet you when they put in that option.

Wikipedia is a great information source

Which article on Wikipedia has more words, the one about Call of Duty or the one about World War II?  Check out this article for the answer and more “Seriously?” moments on Wikipedia.

Truly old school

Mega Man 9 will be coming to WiiWare.  This new game in the proper numbered series will be dripping with nostalga in its 2D, 8-bit graphics.  Yes, it is going to be 8-bit.  I’m not sure if I really want to play a new 8-bit game but I have to commend them for going balls out and sticking so close to the old games.  Hope it works out for you all.

Digital Rights Mess

The DRM fixing tool for your 360 content has gone live on Xbox.com.  This will let you rework all your licenses to one console so you can use your rightfully owned products when you are offline.  I’ve only run into this problem a few times since I’m almost always in a place where I can sign into XBL, but it’s nice to be able to have all my licenses on my current box.  This is good timing, just in case you need to transfer stuff to your new, cheaper 360.

Free content is always appriciated

Even though I haven’t played much of its competitive multiplayer, it’s still nice to know that there is going to be a free map/feature pack For Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 coming in July.  The Fan Pack will have three new maps and a bunch of tweaks.  It will also add new A.C.E.S. levels, which were probably the coolest part of that game.  A free map pack will always make me go back and check out a game I haven’t played in a while.  Thank you, Ubisoft.

And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for…

It’s Diablo III!  Blizzard’s website had a splash page that hinted at something big coming this weekend, and big it was.  I’m staying out of range of the hype machine on this one.  I loved me some Diablo II, but I don’t know how excited I really am to get back into a quick clicking, loot hunt.  I thought I was when I tried out the Mythos beta (which was made by a lot of people who made D2), but it just felt dated.  While D3 does look very pretty and I have no doubt Blizzard will release a quality product, I just don’t know if it’s for me any more.  Maybe with more information about it I’ll get hooked, but until then I will watch quietly from the sidelines.

Quote of the Week

“Geoff Keighley secretes world exclusives.  A lot of people don’t know that.  When threatened…spines extend from his backand he secretes world exclusives.” -Justin McElroy (Joystiq Podcast 54)

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: George Carlin.  I only met you once, but you will be missed, you wonderful bastard.

This week: Defeated 6/15

Linear is not a four letter word

With all of the over-used words and phrases in gaming, “linear” seems to have acquired a bad connotation. People talk about scripted events and linear gameplay like they are always a terrible thing. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Off the top of my head, I can think of a bunch of different scripted and linear events and games that I enjoyed the shit out of, but I won’t bore you with that list here. You should, however, go read Jim Sterling’s article about this. He managed to express something that has been bothering me for a while now.

Intellisponse takes a leak all over everyone

Clearly nothing is ever safe on the internet. Someone over at NeoGaf found a survey by deleting part of a URL at Intellisponse’s site. Most of the leaked information is Activision and Microsoft releated. The biggest piece is probably more proof of 360’s answer to miis. These new avatars will replace gamer pics, which is a terrible idea if you ask me. Other news includes some Guitar Hero stuff (some of which has already turned out to be true, so I’d trust the rest), more about Lips (SingStar for 360), Forza 3, and Tony Hawk getting a skateboard peripheral (oh Christ no). Most of the pictures have gone offline but you can still see the avatars and some of the others.

Everyone likes lists

Because I’m a sucker for a good list here are some.

You people wouldn’t know a good Wii game if it threw a baseball at you and scored 8 points

While I’m sad that Boom Blox only sold 60k copies in May, EA doesn’t seem worried about it. Hopefully this kind of attitude toward the sales of something like Boom Blox means they will keep making quality games for the Wii and not regular throw away trash. Speaking of Boom Blox, has anyone made a Boom Blox drinking game level yet? I haven’t been able to build a good one yet.

Ready. Set. Create. No! Not a penis monster!

The inevitable invasion of penis monsters is upon us, Spore Creature Creator is now on the loose. Fortunately, some people have a bit more imagination. EA is censoring these nightmare creatures, but with over 250,000 creatures already out there, that will be quite a task. You can check out my creatures or you can look at a bunch of celebrity Spore creatures. It’s your choice, but know that I will know which you pick. Choose wisely.

“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”

Team Fortress 2 just became a very scary place. It was nice when everyone was a medic and just wanted to heal you, but the new update gives Pryos new achievements and weapons. Now, everyone wants to set you on fire. It’s not nearly as pleasant. They really should have unlocked the new medic weapons with this update. The achievements are pretty crazy and I know I will never get enough to get all 3 weapons and that makes me a little sad. This weekend is also a free weekend for TF2 so if you haven’t played it yet, get on that. Finally, we also get to Meet The Sniper with this update. My SteamID is SuicideFLip, I’ll be the one on fire.

Question of the Week

I’ve never played any Metal Gear games and there seem to be a bunch of different versions of each. How should I go about playing through them?

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: Texas. I’m there.

This week: Defeated 6/1

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others.”

On the matters of video game comedy, Penny-Arcade Adventures and the Marx brothers, there is a great post over on Brainy Gamer. There has been a lot of shit thrown around about the Penny-Arcade game, and I don’t understand what the deal is. It’s a solid purchase at $20 if you like the stuff Mike and Jerry put out. The combat is quick and exciting, the story is entertaining and the style is great. Can’t wait for the next episode.

Sticking it to the man

My newest EGM showed up this week and in place of a Metal Gear Solid 4 review is a round table discussion about the game with no score. Why? They didn’t want to give it a score because of “the limitations Konami wanted to impose on our comments.” It’s an impressive move. I know that there are usually limitations given out by companies for any review, but they are usually along the lines of “don’t give out story spoilers.” That’s entirely acceptable, but also common sense. According to the internet, the limitations on MGS4 were involving cut scene and install length. For a game known for crazy cut scenes, I don’t see why it matters if you talk about them. This does seem like a scary step toward, “Please don’t talk about how broken our game is. Okay, thanks.” Reviews are sinking into a deeper and deeper hole, at least EGM is trying to climb out.

My mall has two Gamestops and they both suck

Buying games in stores has been a thorn in my side for a long time. It seems game developers like these stores even less that I do. Bring on the age of the digital download, please. Also, “broadband penetration” will always make me giggle.

War doesn’t often change

There was a vault-load of Fallout related news this week. Fallout, along with a few other Interplay games will be coming to GameTap, just in time to brush up on it before Fallout 3 this fall. We got our first look at the awesome crap that comes with the collector’s edition. And if being a “collector” isn’t good enough for you, Amazon will have an exclusive Survival Edition. This comes packed with all of the CE stuff plus a Pip-Boy wrist watch, all for a low $129.99 price tag. As cool as the watch is, I can’t really imagine wear it anywhere, so I’m sticking with the collector’s edition. The Vault Boy bobblehead can keep my Big Daddy company.

Casting couch

Bruce Willis is lining up to be Kane in a Kane & Lynch movie, to which I say, “Really?” Leonardo DiCaprio is going to portray Nolan Bushnell (Pong, Atari, Chuck E. Cheese) in a movie about his life. Also Alfred Molina and Ben Kingsly are on board for Prince of Persia. In other game movie related news, there will be a new Prince of Persia game based on the movie. This is not the same Prince of Persia game that was shown off at Ubidays recently. This is a game based off the movie which is based off the first 3 games. As a franchise bounces back and forth like that, the chances anything good coming out of it shrink and shrink. It’s much like Michael Keaton making clones of clones in Multiplicity.

Keep your sequels to yourself

Guitar Hero: Metallica is the next in what is sure to be an unnecessary and long line of single band focused Guitar Hero games. It’s slated for Q1 2009, which leads me to believe that it will be a Guitar Hero: World Tour clone and have the drums and vocals. Although I wouldn’t put it past them to put it out as a GH3 expansion. Everyone needs to cut the sequel shit and just put out DLC. Please.

2008: The year of Africa

If you only play one game set in Africa this year…well…there’s actually 3. Afrika, the PS3 Pokemon Snap clone, got a release date (Japan only, so far.) On August 28th, the Japanese will be able to photograph zebras until the lions come home. Much more controversial than taking pictures of animals, Resident Evil 5 showed a bit more of what it has going on at Captivate 08, Capcom’s press event. While lacking any confirmation of the rumored co-op or cover system, it still looks full of hoarding zombie goodness. Fall 08 release? We can hope. Finally, Far Cry 2 is in Africa, but that was last weeks news.

Meet your doom

I whole heartedly agree with Kris Graft (of Game Theory) on the subject of depressing games. Bring them on. I do enjoy feeling powerful and cool in a game, or even laughing at it. But more than anything else, feeling sad because of a game will stick with you. He hits on the big three that came to my mind immediately, GTA4, Bioshock and Shadow of the Colossus. When I first beat GTA4, I didn’t particularly like the ending. At first I thought it was because in the last few hours the story fell apart and a bunch of cliche mob bosses became the focus. Then I realized that I didn’t not like the ending, it just made me pretty sad. It is a tragic story and it definitely hit home. One game he doesn’t discuss that really shocked me with how sad it was, and I’m probably the only one, is Conker’s Bad Fur Day. For a crazy screwball comedy of an adventure game, the ending is really dark. Maybe it’s because it’s such a contrast from the rest of the game, but after finishing it, I felt drained. While these feels aren’t exactly the nicest to feel, I love it when a game can evoke them.

Qome on

Sony debuted its self made video magazine Qore on PSN, hosted by Veronica Belmont. For either $2.99 per issue or $24.99 for a 13 episode subscription, you can have exclusive information and videos about PS3 games. Buying information about Sony games from Sony seems slightly wrong and strange. One could argue that the Inside Xbox features on XBL are similar, but you don’t have to be paying for a gold account to see them. Packaged with this first episode is an invitation into the SOCOM: Confrontation beta, and the subscription comes with Calling All Cars. Apparently the future will be full of paying for betas and demos. Maybe I’m just a prick with a false sense of entitlement, but it seems sad to me.

Quote of the Week

“I hope that if you purchase this product it comes with three accessories.  A pistol, a single bullet, and the courage to do what’s right.” - Justin McElroy (Joystiq Podcast episode 52) on people dumb enough to buy this shit.

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: Personal trainers. Very personal.

Nothing good can come of this, or, Why I don’t play MMO’s

As you boot up an MMORPG for the first time, you are always excited. “What kind of character will I play? What class will I be? If I’m this and my friend is that, we will make a kick ass team! I can’t wait to get to this area! My character is going to be so bad ass!” For me, this feeling of excitement lasts for about 20 levels, if I’m lucky. I’ve played more than my fair share of MMO’s, but I think I’m done for good now. My interest in the genre has severely dropped since I started playing text based MMO’s (I can’t believe that game has a Wikipedia article) when they were called MUD’s. There are some huge flaws in the genre that no one game has been able to resolve. No, not even WoW in its infinite glory has perfected everything.

One of the biggest draws to these games is loot. Everyone wants cool armor. They want to look unique and bad ass. The problem with this is twofold. In most cases, it takes a very long time to get your character to look the least bit cool. Since WoW is the gold standard for MMO’s these days, I’ll use it as a touchstone. In WoW, my none of my characters looked well put together until at least level 30, if not later. The second part of this problem is that gear is also integral to character stats and abilities (in most games), so the coolest looking thing isn’t necessarily the most useful thing. This leads to everyone wearing the same thing because it is statistically the best, thus sucking all of the uniqueness out of your character. It’s not really fun to play a game for days of your life just to know you’ll end up looking like everyone else of your class in the end.

The best solution for this I’ve seen so far is in City of Heroes (or City of Villains). During character creation, you make your dude look as bad ass and unique as you want. Stats are tied to “enhancements” that you drop into individual skills and have no cosmetic effect at all. They still award you for leveling with things like capes. While these have to statistical bonus, you’re a superhero, so obviously you want a cool cape waving in the wind behind you as you jump or fly around the city. With the enormous amount of customization options that you have from the very beginning, you get to feel like a full-fledged super hero from the moment you start, rather than wearing ugly armor for hours of your character’s life.

So you have some cool armor and you’re ready to meet up with some friends in the game to take on a dungeon or instance. But wait, your friends are unemployed and play all day long. They are level 50 and you’re only 35! Tough shit! Have fun collecting pelts while they are taking out a huge instance boss. Level discrepancy is one of the biggest problems I’ve had in most MMO’s. Inevitably, someone has more time than the rest of the group. Either they stay at your level and start an alt (more on alts later) that becomes their main character because it’s a higher level, or they fly ahead on their main character and don’t really care to help you level that much.

Again I have to point to City of Heroes/Villains for a pretty good solution to this issue. They have a sidekick system in place so your high level friend can bump you up to close to their level. It doesn’t give you the new powers or skills you’d have at that level, but your current powers are almost as strong they will be in the future. I haven’t played it (due to high system requirements), but apparently Age of Conan has a similar system in place. Why more MMO’s haven’t adapted this concept is beyond me. These are supposed to be community and friend-centric games, but if your friend is ahead/behind you in leveling, the most interaction you end up having with him/her is exchanging PM’s from entirely different zones.

But, holy shit! Your friend is now 55! Imagine what your character will be like at 55! You’ll have all these skills and those abilities! You’ll be able to fight these mobs and that boss! You can wear this helm and use that axe! Now after thinking about all of that cool stuff, try going back to killing rats so you can use some crappy dagger. Rough, isn’t it? Looking ahead in these games may inspire some to keep going and strive for that level, but for me it just kills the experience. When I start playing an MMO, I try very hard to hold off on it, but my time-to-guide is very low. And once I see what I will be if I spend hours and hours of my life playing, I find it very hard to go back to being low level. Very few of these games let you feel like your character is worthwhile at low levels, prompting you to gaze longingly at the distant future.

There are a few ways to solve this problem that some games have used. The first is to make your character feel powerful, even if it really isn’t, from the very start. Again, I haven’t played it, but Age of Conan seems like it does this. The combat system looks quick and more reliant on your imput. While in WoW you just press one key and attack at a certain interval automatically, in Conan you always have to be on your toes and attack from different directions. The combat is also a great deal more violent and interesting to watch. You actually look like you’re hitting the enemies instead of making a sword swinging motion near them. I hate to keep going back to it, but City of Heroes has accomplished this as well. At level 1 you were still a super hero who could knock enemies back several feet with a single punch.

The other way to solve the former problem ties in with my next problem. Congrats, you’re level 35! Oh wait, you’re halfway to max level. But not really, since the last 35 levels take even longer than the first. Lower the damn level caps in these games. If it didn’t take so long to get to a level you could actually have fun and feel useful; it would be a lot easier to keep playing. All I ever hear about these games is how awesome the “end game” is. They need to make that content easier to get to. If it really is as good as people say it is, let more of the community into the club. I would say far under 50% of WoW players ever get to experience one of these fabled level 70 raids. That kind of stuff sounds fun– it really does– but I don’t want to spend so many hours of my life not having much fun in order to have fun in your game. Mass Effect was rough for 3 or 4 hours and that was nearly too much unfun to justify the great ending. I hit 60 in WoW once. By that point I was far too burnt out on the game to care about the elusive end game. I quit playing a week or two later. Guild Wars gets the win here with its very reasonable level cap of 20. You could do that in a week or two and then get on to the best parts of the game.

You finally did it, level 70! You hit the cap! Oh no! That other class has this really cool skill you’d like to try! And honestly, you’re pretty bored with your current class. Time to start over! Alting derails me in MMO’s more than anything else. Maybe I’m just too damn curious, but when I see a character who looks neat or has a nifty skill, I want to try it. Unfortunately, in almost every game, that means starting back at the beginning. At least in some games (Guild Wars), it won’t take long to get back to the top with my new character. Tabula Rasa (although I haven’t played that one either due to school networking problems) has a cool solution. They have a cloning system in place that lets you clone yourself right before important character progression decisions. Other games give you the ability to respec but that only lets you change your character within the chosen class and usually become cost-prohibitive after a while.

I realize that most of these problems are there to keep you playing longer because, except for Guild Wars and Mythos, you’re paying a monthly fee to play these games. They need to keep you playing as long as possible. The longer it takes you to get to the max level and the more distracted you get by making new characters the better. The only way paying monthly for these is a good deal is if it’s the only game you play and you play a lot. I buy far more games than I should, and it gets expensive, but I like having new and different experiences instead of constantly playing the same one. If I’m going to pay for something monthly, it’s going to be a GameFly account (which I just signed up for) or a GameTap account where I can sample a ton of different content.

I like to be exposed to different game types, genres, mechanics, stories, etc. With an MMO it’s just the same thing day in and day out. Even when I was enjoying playing WoW, afterwards I would feel like I hadn’t really done anything. If there’s no true end to a game, you can’t really accomplish anything. Yes, that is also partially true for something like GTA or Halo multiplayer. They don’t have a true ending, but matches and rounds end. Someone wins and someone loses. In an MMO, I can’t help but feel like everyone loses.

Skipping the nit picky, more personal quips with these games (no more fantasy settings please), I’m at the end of my tirade. All of this being said, every once in a while I get a weird need to play one. This is the part I can’t explain no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I just want to level a character, grind for pelts, get ganked in low level areas and be part of a strange and mostly terrible community. When I get this feeling, I have to close my eyes tightly and repeat over and over, “They just want your money. Nothing good can come of this.” Usually, it works. Or at least it will until the day they fix these problems and suck me back in.

This week: Defeated 5/25

Unrealistic expectations

N’Gai Croal has an interesting article up over at Next-Gen about the problem with the almost unanimously glowing previews most games receive. While some outlets feel pretty honest about the previews they give (see: 1up) others still have the promote-the-good, ignore-the-bad preview method in place. The most realistic previews seem to come from podcasts, if you ask me. The on the spot dialogue of recording a podcast lends itself well to people actually speaking their minds instead of talking something up.

Past and future of Bioshock

My undying love for Bioshock is well documented, so when I heard that they were making a sequel I was instantly excited and terrified:  Excited for obvious reasons and terrified for the reasons Jim Sterling lists in this article. While the article is spoiler heavy, it’s a great read to prepare you for everything that could go wrong with Bioshock 2. Just for shits and giggles, there is also a really long review of the first Bioshock. It doesn’t give it a pass for any of its faults and gives some interesting suggestions for how to fix it. As much as I don’t agree with much of it, it’s always fun to read an opposing view.

Ubidaze

Ubisoft had their “gamer days” event this week and showed off a bunch of nifty upcoming games. The most mind blowing was clearly the return of Beyond Good & Evil, another one of those critical darlings that no one else ever really played. It was one of my favorite games of the past generation, although I can’t seem to find my copy. This trailer for it is supposedly done in the game engine; I’ll believe that when I see it in action. Next up is the new Prince of Persia, of which screens leaked a while back, but is now official. The trailer shows off the new prince and his new art design. Cell-shaded graphics are a huge dividing line among people, but I definitely fall on the pro side. Bring on the cartoonish prince; if I want realism I’ll play Assassin’s Creed (which is on the way via GameFly). Also coming out, but less high on my hype-o-meter, is a new Raving Rabbits game for Wii, Far Cry 2 (which does look pretty sexy), Tom Clancy’s EndWar (beta sign up is here) and HAWX (do they know what the X stands for yet?), Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway (it’s going to take a lot to make WWII fun again, but they look like they might pull it off), and Shaun White Snowboarding (no opinion). Trailers for all the games are up at Joystiq. They also announced a DS game that will help you quit smoking. The DS seems to be turning into life’s Swish Army knife, helping you stop smoking and teaching you French.

The dangers of delisting

After Microsoft announced that underperforming, old, bad XBLA games will be “taken off” the service. I put that in quotes because it is true that they will no longer show up on the long list of purchasable games, but if you have already purchased it you will always be able to redownload it. Also, you will always be able to recommend it to a friend so he/she can buy it. This brings to light the obvious question of “Why the hell take it off the list if it’s actually still on the servers?” The official answer is because the list is getting too big and cumbersome. This seems like a stupid way to go about fixing that problem, and Tadhg Kelly has a great opinion piece on Gamasutra offering reasons why this is a bad idea and some clever solutions for the problems Microsoft has created for itself. He also gets extra points for using the word “petard” at the end of the article.

PC gaming is dead sexy

Valve is consistently a shining beacon of light for PC gaming. In an industry that is called dead by many of its own, Valve continues to push new ideas that keep it moving forward. Their newest update will include a new feature called Steamcloud. This will enable you to save your game state and control configurations online through Steam. Also in the update is an auto system driver updater. I have no idea which drivers are out of date on this laptop and am very much looking forward to Valve helping me figure it out. I’ve said it before, but Valve is the only company keeping me the least bit connected to PC gaming these days.

I give it an 8.36

In its week-long series about game reviews, MTV Multiplayer blog has two developers on the opposing sides of the “Should game reviews have numerical scores?” debate. I’m with the nays (Dennis Dyack) on this one, but it’s interesting to see a developer’s reasoning why they should have them.

In case of zombies…

To end off the week, I give you the new Resident Evil 5 trailer. It’s bad ass. Nothing more needs to be said; just watch it.

Quote of the Week

“Instrument protagonist.” - Ludwig Kietzmann, on the Joystiq Podcast Episode 50, giving a new name suggestion for the multi-instrument Guitar Hero: World Tour.

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: Viking Fjord. It’s like writing lubricant.

This week: Defeated 5/18

He is neither a prince, nor Persian. Discuss.

Although I thought Orlando Bloom had already been cast in the position (apprently, I just don’t pay attention.), The Hollywood Report let us know that it is actually going to be Jake Gyllenhaal, in all his Swedish non-action hero glory. The film is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer who is someone I would trust to make an epic and fun PoP movie, but Jake for the prince? Only time will tell, but I doubt it can be worse than most other game-to-movie adaptations.

Bigger, bander and more bad ass

The first trailer for Guitar Hero 4, which is now called Guitar Hero: World Tour, is now available. You can catch some glimpses of the 5 pad drum set and new guitar model. A 5 pad drum set poses some problems for all of us who don’t want to buy a new fake drum set. They may or may not be working on two sets of note charts for the drums, one for the new 5 pad drum and one for the Rock Band 4 pad drum. More on that in the future. Also of note is this screenshot of the song creator that will be a part of GH:WT. After initially writing off song creation as silly, I’ve been coming around to the idea more and more. I doubt I’d be able to create anything worth a damn, but I’m sure there are people out there who can, and since the system will work on a “If you’re good at this, you can upload more” hopefully that will lead to the cream of the crop rising to the top.

And now for something completely similar…

In other fake instrument news, the Motley Crue song that showed up the same day in Rock Band and on iTunes, among other digital distribution outlets, sold far better in Rock Band. While this news isn’t entirely surprising, I’d much rather play a new Motley Crue song in a game than listen to it on my way to work, it does show how lucrative Rock Band releases can be. “Saints of Los Angeles” was downloaded 47, 000 times in the 360 version on RB, and only 10, 000 times on other digital distribution programs. Companies are starting to take the rhythm game genre seriously, releasing a song to a game can even drive other sales of the song. This happened with Black Tide’s song, “Light From Above.” Two weeks after being released in Rock Band, other sales of the song had doubled. With numbers like this, more and more bands are going to be looking to release tracks into these games, which is only a plus for all of us.

Questionable racism, with friends!

There was a GamesRadar preview (which now seems to be MIA) revealing that Resident Evil 5 will have full co-op. I’m not sure if the preview disappeared because they weren’t supposed to talk about that feature yet, or because that feature isn’t real. Hopefully, we will be able to slaughter zombies together in the near future, although the game doesn’t have a release date or anything beyond a first trailer yet (other than a large debate over its racist content).

<Instert “Would you kindly?” joke here.>

The long standing rumor that Bioshock is being ported to the PS3 has finally been confirmed. July’s EGM has the full scoop on last year’s best game being transitioned to the PS3. Fuck fanboyism, everyone should be able to play this masterpiece.

The death of the Spring Update and Yaris

After a Xbox 360 dashboard Spring Update features list leaked last week (which Major Nelson said he “has never seen.”), we now get word that there will be no Spring Update this year. Instead they are focusing on, “building the proper infrastructure and scale for the service,” which means stopping the random Live crashing. For $50 a year from a few million people, you’d think they would have enough resources to do both, but I guess not. Also of note in the interview is the new policy of delisting crappy XBLA games that haven’t sold well and are over 6 months old. Please delete Yaris, it is an insult to real games everywhere. Finally, they are putting out a tool next month that will make it easier/possible to switch licenses for marketplace content to a your new 360 after your old one red rings and gets replaced. Mine is always connected to the internet so this hasn’t really been a problem yet, but it’s nice to know they care.

Question of the Week

What old games should I go back to during the early summer release lull? Assassin’s Creed?

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: This. There are no words.

This week: Defeated 5/11

Computer ate my fucking post. This week is canceled. This is enough news to get anyone excited. The list is “100% true”.

This week: Defeated 5/4

You have to shoot the Brumak

The first gameplay footage of Gear Of War 2, released on Friday, is actually pretty cool. It looks slightly less brown and they seem to understand how to amp things up for a successful sequel. There are a few nifty, new mechanics to take advantage of and tons more Locusts to annihilate. GameVideos also put up an analysis of the footage for those of us who want things spelled out. I can’t wait to get back to the wonderfully personable Marcus Fenix and his wacky adventures.

Lost in translation

As much as I love it, Bioshock should not be made into a movie at all. At least, the story told in the game shouldn’t. It is one of the few stories in games that works so well beacause it’s a game. That’s the entire point. Hopefully, Gore Verbinski understands this. If he makes a movie about the rise and fall of Rapture, it could be pretty cool, just leave the game’s story alone. Ken Levine has been consulting with them, which eases my worry a bit. I’m hoping this doesn’t turn in to a steaming pile of shit.

Everyone needs a vacation sometimes

To the surprise of everyone, Activision announced that Tony Hawk is taking a year off from his annual console appearances. Tony Hawk games haven’t really been relevant in a while, although they still do sell well. With skate. now on the scene, it’s nice to see that they are will to let the team figure out what they want to do with the TH series for more than just a year. They are releasing a Tony Hawk for the DS this year that, “utilizes new technology not yet seen on the DS.” That could be cool, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

Worst tour ever

Part of the song list for Guitar Hero: On Tour is out now. The only thing that could have possibly saved this game was an amazing song list, and that it is not. The only interesting songs have already been in former games the new ones are boring and crap. There is no reason for a portable version of Guitar Hero to exist. A mobile version is dumb enough, why try a DS one too? Keep beating that dead horse, guys.

The new EA

After outcry from the community, EA has once again changed it’s stance on an issue. This time it is about DRM on Mass Effect PC and Spore. Originally, it would have required an online validation of the game every 10 days. Now, it just needs an online validation on the first install, and you can install up to 3 times before contacting EA about more. I hardly play games on PC, but if I do it’s through Steam. They still have the best distribution around and it will even make a consoler like me check them out.

Living, breathing world

With the internet full of cliche riddled articles and reviews about GTA4, N’Gai Croal prevails. His write up on the mainstreams coverage of the game is one of the best game related articles I’ve read in a while. While I continue to ponder the story, fiddle with the multiplayer and finish some side missions, I hope you read this and his write up from Newsweek. Some day I’ll get around to writing my own bit.

Quote of the Week

“Maybe Mario Kart is the gaming manifestation of the tyranny of progressive taxation.”

-Robert Ashley, GFW Radio 5/7/08, in a long discussion of why Mario Kart’s AI hates us. (1:01)

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: Car fires. I don’t really recommend them.

This week: Defeated 4/27

Like almost everyone else, my week was entirely hijacked by GTA4. Coupled with the fairly sparse amount of news this week, I’ve decided to do something different this week. From my place 17 hours in, I give you…

The opening credits

The way the words are incorporated into the world and move as the camera does is a very nifty trick. I found myself getting distracted by how cool it looked and not listening to the characters. I have a weird thing for cool text so this one might just be me, but I was hooked as soon as the credits started.

Helicopter ride

Seeing the entire city from a high flying helicopter is incredible. They have truly made the most realistic and alive city in a game so far. It feels like a living character. Seeing it all from the sky is a must as soon as you can. I haven’t jumped off a tall building yet…maybe tonight.

First date

I had heard there was dating in the game, but I didn’t realize how involved it is. Picking Michelle up and then going bowling, where you actually play a bowling minigame was a very new experience. I felt like I had to drive carefully, and not sprint to the bowling alley. I didn’t know if I should let her win, or utterly destroy her with my bowling skills. I wanted to see what would happen if I shot her in the face, but was actually scared of the repercussions. We have gone on many dates since…I guess you could say it’s getting pretty serious.

Toll Booths

Most people probably hate the fact that the bridges have toll booths that you have to slow down and pay otherwise the cops come flying after you. I think it’s amazing. Sometimes I will still blow straight through them, but more often than not, I toss in my $5 to go through. I will even weasel my way in front of other cars in line to get through quicker, instead of breaking the law. It’s so un-GTA.

Punching the passenger

This is a silly one, but I really like it when I carjack someone, take their seat at the wheel, and then turn to the passenger and punch him/her in the face. It always seems to make me laugh. It’s the little things that count.

Drunk driving

This part has been much talked about, but they did it really well. Driving after a few in game drinks can be damn hard. Before getting in a car, Niko will even say something about not thinking it’s a good idea. The next test is having some in game drinks and out of game drinks and seeing if they offset each other.

Email from mom

The letters Niko receives from his mother are a very nice touch by Rockstar. In a world where you can steal any car and shoot people willy-nilly, they bring you back down to reality with a somber letter from your mother. I realize people people will delete it immediately and go back to causing chaos, but I appreciated the gesture.

Mission retry

Besides being able to automatically restart a mission from your cell phone, the conversations you have with characters in the car on the way to your destination will change. Other games really need to learn from this. There’s few things as annoying as hearing the same few lines over and over as you try to finish a hard mission. There aren’t that many different things they will say, but it’s enough to not make me want to ditch the mission all together.

Radio commercials

As always, the satirical writing is top notch. The commercials on the radio are often better than the songs themselves. My favorite so far is the Curse Buster, keep an eye (ear?) out for it. You will not be disappointed.

The Ray Lynch song

This is a moment very specific to me, but it was amazing none the less. I was cruising around listening to The Journey and suddenly I hear this song. It was on a tape that my mom used to listen to when I was little. I had never known what it was but out of no where it was on my radio in GTA4. I’ve now come to learn that it is The Oh of Pleasure by Ray Lynch and the tape we had was Deep Breakfast, his 1984 album. Thank you to the Zits system in the game for helping recover a long lost memory. Too bad the Zits connection to the Rockstar Social Club doesn’t seem to work yet.

So that’s all I have so far. After reading this, I cannot wait to get further in. I don’t know how any game story will beat out Bioshock, but I’m eager to see it try. All of this and I haven’t even touched the multiplayer. Maybe after I finish the story. See you in the city.

Quote of the Week

“If this game were a tree, it’d be a pretty kick ass tree.”

-Jeff Gerstmann, on the Giant Bombcast Episode 4/29 discussing the hyperbole in GTA4 reviews.

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: Lollipops. You wish you were one.

This week: Defeated 4/20

Tying up some loose ends.

I’ve been rushing to finish up Lost Odyssey and R6V2 to make way for GTA4.  Having just completed the story in Lost Odyssey I can definitely recommend it to anyone who likes jRPG’s and has a 360.  It’s a solid game and I’m looking forward to going back to it and doing more side quests.  I’m close to finishing R6V2, just a few chapters left.  Hopefully I can rush that tonight, maybe in coop, and be totally ready for GTA on Tuesday.  I wanted to grab Mario Kart Wii this morning, but am currently without a car, so I’ll have to get that and talk about it later.

But they’re still calling it Guitar Hero?

This week Activion’s CEO, Bobby Kotick let slip that in Guitar Hero 4, “We’ll include a lot of other instruments, vocals.”  I’m assuming that this just means drums, bass and singing, not the keytar we are all waiting for.  I don’t really want GH to follow in Rock Band’s steps.  Guitar Hero was good for it’s ability to use songs that were very guitarcentric.  With the addition of drums and singing, they lose the one thing they had going for them.  Leave Rock Band to Rock Band, fools.  They’re still selling a ton, why mess with the formula and copy something else?  Also, if they think I’m going to buy a new plastic drum kit, they are out of their goddamn minds.  The little self respect I have won’t allow me to fill up my dorm room with two fake drum sets.  I don’t care how much better their drums are, if I can’t use my Rock Band drums with the game, I’m not playing drums in the game.  Period.  The biggest thing either of these games can do to stand out is make it so you can import your own music into the game.  That will probably end up being the deciding factor in this war.

They don’t understand this “internet”

Metal Gear Online had some huge hiccups in its already roundabout, long beta registration processed.  It’s not being done through PSN and you have to sign up for 2 different accounts to get in.  As I don’t own a PS3 this doesn’t really matter to me, but it did make me wonder.  Why not do it through PSN?  This seems to give a good amount of credit to the on going rumor that this could be coming to 360.  I can’t think of any other reason to take it out of the systems built in online structure.  Or this could just be another sign that Japan doesn’t do online gaming very well at all.

It’s been a slow week.

After hearing about Rock Band 2’s marketing campaign being put together, I noticed a small mention of it on 1up.  According to them, it is coming this fall, but there won’t be any new hardware.  I’m glad I won’t have to buy some new fake instrument, but why bother putting out a new one at all?  I thought their plan was to make it a platform, not a yearly installment heavy series.  It’s not the end of the world to have to switch discs to play different songs, but their DLC is going so well I don’t see the point in another physical product.  Maybe they’re figured out a way to let you play all the old stuff you have (including the songs on the disc for the first game) in the second one.  I sure hope so.

Quote of the Week

“I stopped in front of the sluttiest woman I could find and honked the horn, she didn’t get in my car, meaning she wasn’t a hooker.  And I was like, ‘God fucking damn it.’  So I ran her over!  Just because I was annoyed.  I didn’t even feel like running people over.  I just wanted to kill her for not being a hooker.”

-Chris Kohler (Game|Life) on Retronauts episode 41, discussing GTA.

This week’s Defeated is brought to you by: TI-86.  It’s the ninja of hand held gaming systems.